Time and Life

After leaving my usual routine bubble for three days, it feels like an eternity since I've been back home. However, I am surprised on how easily I've settled back into this life.

Let me back up. I was gone to Austin for three days for a competition. Being there for three school days feels like I've been on the road for a long time and I really enjoyed it no matter how much I wished my family to be there. But coming back made a lot of things change.

First, the excitement of something new everyday changed my current life into a somewhat boredom, considering the amount of homework I have to catch up on.  But my mom did tell me that you won't know how exciting life can be until you felt boredom.

Second, after this competition, a lot of my time opened up. Marching season is basically over. After one more competition, we are done. During marching season, everyday was rehearsal ,school, sometimes more rehearsal, cram homework at home. Now that there's no need for all of that, I have more time to do things. Life has definitely slowed down (not that I'm complaining). This, however, leads me to number three.

Third, with more time, I can think a lot more, not really about school, but about the past and future. After three days gone, I've really begun to think about how fast life goes by. Three years might seem far away, but it will hit so unexpectedly that I can't even wrap my head around it. Now, I wonder why I wanted to grow up so quickly. Now, I'd rather be confined in my house as child than a free young adult. Where has all of the sweetness of playing without worrying gone?

Time seems like such a malleable thing. Just three months ago, school started. One month from now, Winter Break will arrive and just six months later, six months, my first year of high school will be over. And the cycle repeats and repeats, until I'm gone and alone in the big city (not really alone, but you know, independent).

For me, thinking about this, I start to tear up. The times that I didn't take the chance at something washes over me painfully. The times that I haven't appreciated what my parents have done for me stabs in my heart. The times that I have wished for life to go fast makes me wonder why. Now, I just want to be stuck in one moment of life and relish it until I'm ready to go on. Of course, life is a rushing river and doesn't wait for anybody to catch up. It's hard for me to believe that three years ago my sister was just born and now she can speak. It's hard for me to believe that just three days ago, I was rehearsing at a high school in Austin. It's hard for me to believe that I'm not a child anymore, but a teen that has responsibilities now. It's hard for me to understand why children always look upon the bright side of being an adult when the stress side seems to be so prominent now. It's hard for me to understand that life has gone by so quickly that I haven't even realized that tomorrow could have gone past in less than a second.

-Azalea