Early in fifteenth birthday, I encountered my first case with suicide. I've always heard about, and been warned to watch for it, but it never seemed like a looming danger.
Right before our city's Christmas Parade of Lights, word that a young clarinetist (I believe) from our sister school chose to end her life. Our band was encouraged to sign a poster with our condolences while our sister school withdrew from the parade all together. It was then when suicide became a lurking shadow on my brain. (Of course, if you were to ask my friends, suicide was always lurking in my brain. Committing suicide in a video game was quite an obsession I had).
It seems, however, that suicide would like to more than just an intangible imprint on my brain. Recently, my friend's mother has expressed concern about her daughter's behavior. She has stopped eating, stopped taking interest in the things she liked, and stopped caring about her future. She described how she was feeling as hopeless. At school, I've noticed that her smile has dimmed considerably and has seemed much more forced than it ever has. The issue of suicide has certainly taken its hold on my brain now. I can't say I'm not concerned for her. She's never been a particularly good friend of mine (too frivolous in my opinion), but if she were to leave this mortal world, I might finally shed some tears over death.
I hope she'll find her motive in life, and see the beauty in plain sight. I hope she'll see the light in this dungeon we call high school, and I hope she'll reach for it. There's so much more to see.
-Azalea
No comments:
Post a Comment